Henlo! My name is Junipurrrr. My parents are going far away for four whole days to eat turkey withOUT me!! Even worse, they are leaving me with the tiny menace that they keep calling my little sister, but she only got here 2 months ago and INVADED my home! I don't need any hoomans, except their opposable thumbs are kind of useful for giving me food, and also I like to make them play with me. You want to be my replacement hooman? I tell you the rules. You give me all the food, and none to Kiki---
MEO WW!!!! Nooooo! I am Kiki and I want all the food because I am a growing kitten! In fact I'll eat that food you're trying to eat too, and also your shoelaces and head s! I have so much energy, wheeee!! It'll never stop! Until...I get....verrrrrry sleepy, and then I'll...nap on your chest and purr purrrrr purrr zzzzzzzzz.
FINALLY, she's asleep. Mom put ME in charge, not silly Kiki. Ok, hooman, do you want to stay in a biiiiig foam bed in an apartment in Boston near a pond and the train station with a parking spot, and also make a bit of cash, in exchange for getting to spend four days with the BEST cat ever, and one tolerable cat--
I AM LOVABLE, MOM TOLD ME!
Grrrr ok whatever, not the point! Hooman, if you like what I write, then send a message to my mom. The best hoomans have references and a sense of humor. MEOW!!